This is a wonderful principle for both business and for dating. I work with individuals who need help navigating the dating world and improving their romantic relationships, and I definitely promote thinking that empowers you to say no to what isn’t good enough for you or isn’t a good fit.

Let’s begin with the business model.  When you began your business you had a vision of what you wanted to achieve.  You’ve likely made some adjustments along the way but hopefully the general course of your business has remained in line with your original vision.  So let’s say you opened a cupcake bakery.  While you may have added other types of baked goods, you’re still baking the scrumptious cupcakes that originally inspired you.  However, you may have received offers and opportunities that tempt you to veer off course.  They are tempting because they may seem like easy money and you may be feeling anxious about finances and about whether your original vision can actually bring a sustained profit.

In order to stay the course and not lose the real character of your business, you’ve got to remind yourself constantly of your original vision and have a strong backbone.  And, most importantly you have to realize that saying no to one thing allows you to say yes to something else.  If you accept a project that you know you can do but isn’t in line with your business goals and takes up your time, then you’re not open and available for the better opportunity that comes along.  For example, if you are a service- oriented business and you are the sole provider of this service, then taking on a client who wants to pay only 75% of your fee will only steal your time and make you unavailable for clients who are willing to pay your true fee, i.e. who recognize your value as much as you do.

How does this translate into the dating realm?  Well you need to have a vision of the kind of relationship you want to have and stick to it. Let’s say part of your vision is to be married and have children.  Well when someone comes along who makes it clear that he doesn’t want to get married or have children, then, adorable as he may be and smitten as you may be, you have to say no.  You may feel a bit desperate and doubtful about whether you can ever have the relationship that you envision.  But you will never get “the best” for you, i.e. your vision, by settling for less.  This is when you have to have a strong backbone and remind yourself of your value and what you deserve in life.  If you accept the person who is only willing to offer 75% of your vision, then there will be no space in your life for the right person when he comes along.  You must be unwavering and know that someone will come along who will recognize your value too and share your vision.

So in your business and in your love life remember to have a clear vision, know your value, and practice saying no to what isn’t right for you so you can then say yes to what is!

-Christine Fernandez
Christine Fernandez, Ph.D. Private Practice working with adult individuals and couples
@DrChristineNYC

***This was Best Business Tip #67. Read the other 99 Best Business Tips.***